Even if no one can see the glow up, I can feel it in my bone and heart. It is not about what is in the outside, but what is in the inside. Throughout my early degree life, all i felt was excitement. I was excited about the new challenges, the new friends, the new memories and the new ... me? I learned about friendships, a lot. As do betrayal. And no, not others who betrayed me but, i betrayed my friend. I did dirty, and I regret it so much. I used to have a lot of friends. So many group of friends, some may think that it is because of my socialising skill, but to me, I just love knowing people. But what I didnt realise was, I was afraid of friendship too. It is now that I realised that when things are going good, Ill be too afraid if it fucked up, so I fck it up first. Whether I pull myself out from the crowd, or just, fuck it up.

To whomever I had befriended with before, Im sorry. I really do. It was me all along, it wasn't you guys. Obviously. And it is not because of my new relationship. It is really just me. Im just a bitch but i didnt realise it until i lost what values to me. And it is now too late to mend the broken ties.

All the memories we created, thank you for that. I will always try to cherish them with me, even with tears on my cheeks. I wanted to write you guys letters, but I don't think I am capable to throw everything out anyway, because deep inside me I'm just a scared little rat living in a human body. I don't have the guts to say it to you guys' face that it was me all along, it was me who is the bitch. I should have valued our friendship better, but i know it is just too late now. If I ever said i love you to you guys, i really meant it. I did, perhaps still do! It kinda aches me realising that I no longer invited to hang outs because I used to give 1001 excuses when you guys did. So, yes, it was my fault.

I've learned that friends actually matters. Looking through my old pictures just make me realise that i wouldn't be able to go through a lot of pain if not with you guys. Thank you for your time. Thank you for the support all along. Thank you for being there. I really appreciate that, and words can't describe.

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Interview Law Degree in UM

Hi and Assalamualaikum !

Here I am again. So in today's post Im going to share my experience in my interview in UM. To be honest, after my STPM, I've been to a few interviews; TESL in UKM, and Law and Business in UUM. This post, is about my first interview after my STPM, Law degree in UM. As most of Malaysian students have in their mind, this kind of interview must be very challenging and hard. Me having the chance to go to an interview last time, and failed it, kinda scared to try this interview. But i challenged myself, I mean, if I failed it, i have nothing to lose rather than not trying at all. Not wanting the last interview to haunt me, I research a lot. How to speak in interview, how to dress, the etiquette. EVERYTHING. So my mother's friend gave a little advice on how to dress, to wear only one to two kind of colour. So I decided to wear a blue black kebarung with purple shawl. Very formal, I know. But no worries guys, that is not the most important thing in attending this interview since my friend wore a floral baju kurung but she also managed to get into UM. But please bear in mind that first impression matter.

I reached Faculty of Law, UM at 6 a.m. from Bangi, my aunty's house. The interview was on Ramadhan month, so after we have our 'sahur', we started our engine and head to UM to avoid any traffic jams. Before 8 a.m., a few interviewee had already in line to register their names. At 8 a.m. sharp, the officer started to open a hall to give way for the interviewee to sit and register. We sat according to a few groups, based on names on the list. So after giving my STPM cert, MUET cert, SPM cert (as far as i can remember), i sat with a few others interviewees and we had a good talk and started to know each other. Some are from Kelantan, Terengganu, Pahang and many more. While waiting for our group to be called, we shared a little information on whatever topic that may be asked in the interview.At 12 noon, finally we were called upstairs and placed in an isolated room. There, one by one was given a task, where we only have a few minutes to prepare to answer the task. My question is about wrongful dismissal, where a lecturer had been dismissed from a university due to an allegation of her had been bribed by a student to ace the exam paper. So me as her represent, how to support my client on her case. ** TIPS, write everything that you ever think about, EVERYTHING, even though you cannot bring along the sketch, it will help you to remember and arrange your answer while talking. Its like mocking a lawyer on how to defend your client. I was given 3 minutes to give everything out to defend my client, and i lost my breath while giving my speech hahaha.

After that, the interviewers introduced themselves and asked me to introduce myself. Another questions they asked me;
1. tell me about yourself
2. Why you choose law
3. What do you think is the most important criteria in a good law student
4. Do you think you have it ?

Ah I think there was more but I cant remember, its been a while. Im sorry guys T.T

Tips that may be useful for you guys from my observation:
1. Be HUMBLE yet CONFIDENT
2.Smile, do not show your fear, if can, share your story while introducing yourself that make you look tough ! But, be HUMBLE !
3. Think outside the box, you don't have to be so stuck in one type of thinking. IMAGINE.

Alhamdulillah, I already finished my first sem in Law degree in UM, what ever you do, don't forget to ask for God's help ;) I might share my experience in orientation week in UM, but i am not promising anything.

Thanks for reading !
If you want to ask anything you may DM me on my IG; radhiarazali.
Love
XOXO

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Form 6 life ?

Assalamualaikum.

Hi, so since I had promised in my previous post about updating my Form 6 life, I think i want to tell you guys about it. Form 6 ? A lot of people may smirk and even laugh when you choose to go into form 6. I actually have doubt about my decision on continuing my studies to form 6. Yeah, Im not sure about that, but i still went to the pendaftaran day and actually stay there. Its actually my dad's idea, he said that it was a back up in case i don't get to go to any universities. So i followed his idea. Form 6 life started before the upu results where you've been approved to enter any universities that you get. First week of form 6 ? Cool, nothing that makes me want to stay there. I mean, idk, i just not sure if i want to stay. Second week ? I still not sure about staying and I do hope to get into some local university. But somehow, i volunteered myself to help the teachers set up the equipment on the weekend. However, i sprained my leg playing 'lari dalam guni'. Trust me, its a funny story lol. I injured myself within first 2 hours coming to the field ! AND THIS IS WHERE IT BEGAN. A teacher came to the rescue ! Mr Subramaniam, a sport science teacher, happened to be the form 6 teacher but unfortunately he did not teach my class. Okay back to the story, he help me with my sprained leg, he helped me ! I swear Im so touched that time because all of my friends ((well not-so-closed-yet-friend)) left me lol. I told them that Im okay but i cannot move, and they went to have breakfast, which kinda broke my heart but whatever. Then after that Mr Subra saw me in pain and quickly asked a boy to take some oilment or something you know the spray one for the athlete when they get hurt ? Then he did the R.I.C.E, which is a bantuan awal using ice ? Ugh idk how to explain but he helped me get over my leg. Then i called my dad and we went to the clinic and Alhamdulillah, nothing cracked. hahaha. Oh, how come this story began with this incident ? I actually felt like im home. I mean, I was at a place where people care for each other. Its so different from my high school ! So, i kinda fall in love with this school.

And, upu's result went out ! I managed to get to Politeknik Premier which i actually put at the last choice. And its not seriously the course that i want. So i let it go. And hope for the better. I stayed at my school, High School Batu Pahat. A year and a half. I consider it as a short time but so meaningful. I swear, the memories here couldn't beat my other school's experience. It just the best time of my life ! We managed a camp together, managed school sport and so many things. I tried a lot of new things such as debate, netball and not so new, bowling. I actually represent my school in these new things ! How amazing is that ? hahaha its so cool you know, trying new things. You don't know you actually can do it, but you just don't want to try ? Its a waste my friend, its a waste when you don't try when you have the chance. I really don't know how to play netball at first. AT ALL. But having a couch for that makes me better. At least, improvement. I was an active student there, kinda. I just love being there. I felt loved, cared and actually got some attention ? Those that make sense ? YES. It changes me a lot. From being too scared to try new things, i became the one that always want to try new things ! Well, i think this post is long enough. Thats all for this post, i may want to talk about form 6 again but im not sure though.

thanks for reading :)
(Don't mind my broken english)

-RS-

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New Chapter

Assalamualaikum.

Its 2018 now. How time flies. Since its been years since im not writing in this blog, its gonna be a little awkward for me. Since the last post, I end up continued my studies in Form 6 which gave me a lot of excitement, happiness, memories, friendship and everything that makes me who I am now. I may be better than before. Im not sad for not getting into ipta or whatever college that my friends may had enter. Here I am, happy with my choice. Not giving any fcks on what people may talk about me. This is a new me. For those who had stayed for me, thank you. And who left me, thank you too. I am starting to use my blog again since I don't know where to express my feelings. I absolutely can update it on my social medias, but I don't think people actually wants to know about it or even using it as my weakness. So, I am going to update a little thing about what's been happening in my life these past years, just so I can read it again and remember exactly what had happen. So, lets begin it with another post.

-RS-